This is a question that has plagued me and my closest friends for a long time, and it’s something I have become highly passionate about. I’ve been asked thousands of times by various people, “Why didn’t you go away to college? Did you not want to ‘leave the nest?’”

I opted to go to a local college, which isn’t a community college, but a branch off of a large college in this area of Ohio. Note: I only stated that so people would understand the rest of this clearer. Why did I do that? I mean, I could easily have gone to the main campus roughly an hour from my house, lived in a dorm, had lots of new experiences and learned how to live on my own that way. I didn’t, though.

I happily stayed home. I avoided the massive finances some have to deal with after graduating, and I learned to live on my own without having the possibility of living with a psychopathic roommate or wondering constantly if my roommate remembered to lock the door behind her. Granted, that doesn’t happen to everything, but I simply didn’t want to waste my efforts on that sort of possibility when I could, instead, pay a small amount each year to attend a school five minutes from my house, surrounded by theatres and living with my pets all still surrounding me. I get to keep my car with me and have a job year round.

Yes, I do miss out on dorm life and living in a small community like colleges are, but that’s really not for me. I’m truly elated to wake up in my own bed, in my bedroom, alone every day. I love knowing that my mother is a mere shout away at night, and that I can go and pet my cats whenever I want. I don’t have to stress out about leaving certain things at home and others at school and I don’t have to bend employment around life.

I have a few friends who truly piss me off with this topic. They are totally certain that I am missing out on an experience and that I’m an idiot for doing what I’ve chosen. They argue with me. Lecture me. Yell at me.

…I just don’t care. I’m thrilled that they are living the lives they are living–it suits them! I’m just not that person that goes away. My mother and I have always been close, and it would be odd for me to leave her. I know myself well enough to know that I would have to had returned home every weekend. I could not have been away from her too long. Few knew me when I was a small child, but we’ve always had an incredibly strong bond and that’s not something I like parting with.

On top of everything, I’m damn happy that I can get my degree and owe less than 10 grand in student loans. And, actually, with my current scholarship path, I’ll be paying even less if I keep at it. I planned this how I did because I want to live my life unlike those I know that went away. I know far too many people that went to a expensive school, got the same degree as someone from a cheaper school and now live their lives worried about paying off their loans. I already worry heavily about them, and that’s not something I ever wanted to have to do.

I’m damn proud that I stayed home, and I’m an advocate for anyone that wants to do the same thing. It’s not a crime to stay home. You can still get all those experiences you would going away. I just ask anyone that’s looking at colleges to follow their heart. Not everyone does go away and some go much farther away than others.

I started my second Spring semester this week and discovered that I cannot stand lectures with a ton of other students–especially students that aren’t on the same intellectual levels. D: And when I say that, I don’t mean it to say I’m super smart, because I’m not. I’m pretty average…but I’m really good at math and science. I find that it’s difficult for all when everyone is on a different level. Then, the professor has to either dumb things down leaving the students that know what they’re doing bored or makes it too difficult leaving those that don’t catch on as fast lost and confused. I would think that professors would just teach everything in the middle, but no one I’ve had has.

Then, there’s the professor that drones on and on and never has a sense of humor to break up the lecture making it less boring. I realize that, as a student, it is your job to focus and pay attention, but, for example, I have a 2.5 hour history lecture and I love history. However, I cannot stay focused on that lecture for that long. Luckily for me this time, the professor gives us a break halfway through and is really nice. She also breaks it up by walking around the room more to make us look in different places and is always looking to us to interject with things we know about the topic which makes the class more fun.

But I’ve had some classes, like my Algebra class last year, where the professor stays in one spot the entire class, ignores questions and interjections and drones the entire time. It’s exhausting. D:

I have had some that were really great–like my theatre classes. I had one that was basically just the history of the theatre, which wasn’t boring at all! The professor had a sense of humor easily keeping us on our toes and, from time to time, giggling in my seat. Some readers may be thinking, “Yes, Hannah, but you love theatre!” Granted, that’s true, but I also love history, science and math as much. Heck, I’d say that comparing the history of theatre and math, I love math more.

In the end, I always find myself disliking most lectures. I’ve only enjoyed my theatre lecture and semi-enjoyed my English lecture.

In other news, my ex boyfriend might be entering my life again. It’s complicated, as was anything with this boy, but he’s been friendly towards our group again, and I’m willing to welcome him with open arms. The only person I would never let back into my life: my father. But everything he’s done is totally unforgivable. There’s just no way that man can be in my life again. My ex boyfriend just had a small moment of being an ass and then we went our separate ways. Nothing unforgivable. (FYI, it takes a lot to do something I wouldn’t forgive.)

But I do have to drop my one science class. Online, it said there was a lab, but there isn’t and I need a science with a lab. I’m trying to get into this Biology class that Nicole is in, but it’s full. I’ve emailed the professor, but I really don’t think it’s going to happen. So I’ve got to find another lab. But all of that means that I’m only able to work Fridays, which kind of sucks as I’d like the money. However, I can’t do anything about it. School is always first and, honestly, my job is kind of last. As long as I’m able to work like 3 hours a week, I’m totally good in terms of what I need.

Speaking of that job, I need to head there now. I’m going to get another quick snack and head off. I told her I’d be there at 1:30 at the earliest, but there was no way. I didn’t even get home until after 1 and I still needed to eat, plus it takes 12-ish minutes to make it to work.

I had fears. I had crazy trepidation about doing Bye Bye Birdie and a musical revue and Dracula.

Now? I’ve not only come to terms with it, but I got a sign today that I’m doing what I should. Everyone kept telling me, “Hannah, you’re insane for doing all of this!” “Hannah, how can you handle all of these shows, school and work?!” Very few people were supportive, but I knew I had to. As I was telling my mother, I think it’s my “year” (theatre year, which, here, is similar to our “school year”) to break out. I’m no longer a little kid. I’m no longer a chorus girl. I can handle bigger and better roles and I can do them well.

So, when Dracula came, I knew I had to take the audition offered to me and just go for it. I owe a lot to my, now, dear theatre friend J (we’ll call him that) for getting me that audition and for, basically, getting me the role. Yes, I’m simply the maid, but, as every actor knows, no part is a small part and I’m making the absolute best of it. I have a few lines that I think will get laughs, and, considering this is a super ultra mega drama, that’s going to stand out.

I was, honestly, petrified to get my Dracula calendar for fear of just being insanely busy. I was wrong. My Dracula calendar almost seems under rehearsed, to be honest, but I know it’ll be just what we need, as the show is so short.

I also thought that, for sure, I’d need to cut a day of work out, which scared me even more as I need to work to pay for gas to drive to rehearsals (Dracula is about a half an hour away and the other two are twenty minutes away). I just feel like everything has fallen perfectly into place.

I do rehearse almost every day of the week for something, but that’s it. I don’t have any double rehearsals, though, on Sundays, I do perform Birdie the next two and head to revue directly after, but I’m kind of used to that now. Class? A piece of cake. I just realized over the last weekend that the class eating up my time, actually, only has an assignment every two weeks instead of one, and, as I took the class before and had to drop, I already have three assignments done (6 weeks!). My other class for this half of the semester is just a weekly discussion where I have to answer three opinion questions. The timing for everything could not be better.

As for work, I’m incredibly excited to say that I have next week off entirely! My boss let me know today that she’d be going on vacation for a week. That is absolutely perfect because, after next week, Birdie is over and I will be able to work full hours again. Also, it means only rushing one more day to get ready for the show. Lovely. Absolutely lovely.

Who knew this would happen? I most certainly didn’t, and I couldn’t be happier right now.

Life is good and I’m eating up every moment of it. ^_^ My life had been so depressed for a while, it’s just lovely to be happy for a chance.

This year I’m going to call my “refreshing year.” I have so many plans to try new things, go back to things I stopped doing and to make my wardrobe grow up.

First, I’ve already started theatre again. I’ve got two weeks of rehearsals left until Bye Bye Birdie starts performing, and I’m totally ready for that. Directly after, the revue I’m in performs and I have auditions for Twelfth Night probably late November. I’m totally anxious for those auditions. I’ve got so many plans to prepare for that and get a role.

Next, there’s improvisation. All last year, I wanted to join my school’s improv group, but, with my ex-boyfriend attached like my left arm, I couldn’t. And I hated that. Now, I have a friend going to school with me that has very similar interests as me with theatre and she wants to join, so we’re joining together.

Of course, my wardrobe is next. I’ve been starting to do this since the beginning of summer and I have every intention to do a basic “out with the old, in with the new” with my entire closet. I just don’t want to be seen as a high school student any more. I hated the high school drama and everything alongside it, only loving my friends and extracurricular activities. A lot of my wardrobe can stay, as they’re basics that everyone needs (ie. basic white tee, ribbed tees for layering, cardigans, dark wash jeans and a black suit), but there are so many t-shirts I need to get rid of. Granted, most I want to keep and quilt, but that’s it.

I actually went shopping tonight and spent $50 all on things I consider “young mature women” clothes, with a little Hannah twist (vintage and colorful, in a classy manner).

Last, but not least, I’m looking for a boyfriend, or, rather, letting life go and taking opportunities that arise with a guy, but letting it just happen. I don’t want to date a high school student, even though I currently have feelings for one. I’m just done with that whole deal. I want to date someone either my age, or older (which is unlike me, as I usually like younger guys). Matter of fact, there is a guy out there that I have feelings for that is older, but that’s not going to happen. haha A girl can dream, though!

But my classes start back up again on Monday. I’m excited. I have one in class (the Art of Acting, which should be very fun), and four online (1 all semester, 1 the first half, 2 the second half). I must say, I am genuinely looking forward to school. Very unlike me! This probably has something to do with the fact that I’ll get to see a few friends around and will have something else to get me out of the house, which is always nice.

I’m a sophomore. I have a pretty real job. And I’m back on the stage. It’s going to be a great, but scary year.

I have finished my very first year of college and, I must say, I’m proud of myself!

I went from skipping class for weeks due to depression to pushing myself and doing the best I could ever do, not missing any assignments. I was still depressed much of last semester, but I used school to help me forget about what brought my tears out, so to speak. I was depressed in my attitude and all, but doing my assignments were almost escapes.

Man, if I could have used school as my escape my last two years of high school, I could have been in the top ten percent! haha I was only…6 people off from being in it.

But regardless, my grades have yet to be posted on my school’s website, but they’ve been posted on vista (basically, a branch off of the school site where I did anything for my online classes), mostly. Two classes tell me straight out, and the other I found out by filling in the numbers and figuring it out myself. Anyhow, I ended up with an A in Computer Assembly and Config, 98% A in Intro to Web Tech, and 104% A in Personal Productivity. Honestly, I still have absolutely no clue how I got the 104, but I’m not complaining.

So I’m semi-free! I don’t really feel all that free yet, but I’m just hoping it hasn’t hit me quite yet. I have a huge list of things I need to get done this summer, including cleaning my room like crazy, reading my butt off (*cannot wait for that!*) and fixing and adding things to my various websites.

I’m also getting more and more excited for the musical revue I’m in. I don’t really know how it will end up, but, even though I’m still really quite in love with Mike, there’s a cute guy in it that’s just a few years older than me now, so, at the very least, I’ll have some eye candy. And if Mike decides to do it, even more eye candy! And, let me tell you, I absolutely love to stare at Mike. haha Dating or not, I think he’s gorgeous. But I don’t know what his decision will be yet. He said he was undecided, and his reason for not doing it was, “Hannah, I’m graduating high school.” In other words, he’ll have a lot to do next week (the week of graduation). I told him he didn’t need to come to rehearsal if he was too busy or stressed.

The thing with high school graduation, at least around here, is that is soo not a big deal when it comes to stress and being busy. Basically, you put together an open house with your family (a party where you invite friends and family to eat massive quantities of food and where you put like trophies, certificates and photos out to show people who you were and who you are), which means making photo boards if you’re a girl, or picking out photos for your mom to put together if you’re a guy (:P). Then, you have the week before graduation. You have a lunch at a banquet hall, a picnic, a trip to Cedar Point (amusement park) and that’s basically it. After graduation, you have open houses to attend for your friends. Once you graduate, it’s honestly as if nothing happened. It doesn’t hit you for quite a while, at least, it didn’t hit me for quite a while.

But yes. I’m hoping Mike decides to do it. He and the other guy would have a total blast (they’re friends from theatre), and I would be elated to see him on stage again. He’s truly awesome.

So, in all, I’m free!! You can expect some changes around here in the next month, so long as something doesn’t happen to cause my freedom to disappear for some reason.

Oh! And Heather will be coming to Ohio to visit Lauren and myself in 1 month, 3 weeks and 6 days!

Until later, lovelies!