Impressions Posted by Hannah on January 12th, 2010
I’ve learned a lot about impressions this last year. The most obvious example to anyone that knows me is my ex. I started off, when we first met, intimidated by him and wanting to stay away due to rumors. Granted, rumors are never something anyone should believe, but I was really young and immature, so I let them get to me.
I got to know him online of all places, we hung out more at school and at my house, and, before I knew it, we were together for almost two years. We had a perfect relationship, still, in my eyes and in the eyes of those closest to us. Apparently, it wasn’t in his. He cheated on me, I didn’t believe it to be true, fell for his lies, let it go and, in the end, he turned out to be a complete jerk to me. I don’t want to say he’s a bad person because I don’t think that he is. I think his heart was somewhere else, and he couldn’t admit that to me or any of us, so he needed an escape, and he, I’m sure, is very happy now. I, at least, hope that he’s very happy.
I don’t want this entry to be about stories of people because that’s just kind of awkward. XD
But impressions…
I’ve tried hard the past few years now to not let first impressions get to me. I give people the benefit of the doubt. A lot of people tell me that this is a bad thing, but I don’t believe that. I want to have an open mind and keep my mind as open as I can muster.
I can’t stand it when someone starts a rumor, people and friends of theirs follow that rumor and the person the rumor is about ends up alone and completely shunned. I’ve seen this too many times both online and offline, and I’ve been the victim of it. Most everyone I’m friends with has dealt with this in some way, and that’s just a terrible thing.
Rumors are crap. That’s another thing I avoid. I can’t stand rumors. If I find a rumor spreading, I do everything I can to stop it, or correct it, or anything I can do. It just makes me so frustrated!
Why do people find the need to spread them? Why create them?
My mom has always told me that a big reason is usually jealousy.
Now, I have to be honest, I have never understood why anyone would be jealous of me. I’m not that smart. I have a great work ethic, but that’s it. I’m honest, yes, but I don’t have a lot of money. I’m not the greatest artist, nor do I have that ideal perfect life.
I haven’t talked to my father (VERY happily) for years now, my brother and I are touch and go, though I love him to pieces, I’m very single, and my best friends don’t live nearby. I do understand why people would be jealous of the strength I have in my voice. That’s something…I luckily ended up with. If you heard my parents’ and brother’s voices, you’d see it’s all genetic. It has to be. But I don’t gloat about it ever. I actually try to hide it when I can. I don’t want to obnoxiously stand out.
And some times, people take my vocal strength and think that I’m a cocky little jerk. o_O I actually made a friend back in August and she flat out told me, “Hannah, I thought you were a bitch. I’m glad you proved my impressions wrong.” I asked her what led her to think that, “Well, you’re really quiet, always seem to be thinking and are loud when singing and stuff. It seemed like you were really stuck up.” I never knew that being quiet made me seem cocky, but I was being quiet so people wouldn’t take me for someone who is really into themselves.
I have just as much confidence as the majority of the world. Aka…not much. XD I’m okay with that, though. 
I have a lot of confidence in some things, but I don’t let that out.
I guess this entry is in hopes of others realizing that impressions aren’t anything. Opening your heart even just a little to people can make you find the beauty in those you might not have seen before.
If I spent my life so far with my heart closed, I wouldn’t have the friends I have now, and I have the best friends in the world.
Filed under: Beliefs, Ex-Boyfriend, Friends
One Response to “Impressions”
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Hannah is an 19-year-old Computer Technology major who has found that being single isn't as scary as it seems, and is happy living life with only a mother. With a brother (Ryan) that was discharged from the army, two crazy and altogether amazing best friends (Heather and Lauren)and days full of gaming and being blonde, life is far from subtle.Married to Justin Long.
Stuck in an elevator with Hatori Sohma.
I am the Tohru Honda on the WWW.
January 14th, 2010 at 12:48 am
How anyone on this planet could get a “cocky” impression from you, I have no idea. o_0 And I agree with your mother; people usually try to hurt people because they are jealous of them, mainly because they see something in them that they fear or want. I found this a lot when I was younger, and couldn’t understand why people seemed to “hate” me so much! Now being older and seeing it for what it is, I wish I could go back and tell that younger Kate that! ♥