Being a Hermit Posted by Hannah on July 20th, 2010
If there’s one thing I enjoy, it’s being a hermit.
I like going time without leaving my house. I like that I don’t meet a lot of people. I love not dealing with others. Yes, I can deal well with people, but do I enjoy it? No, not at all. I’ve never had issues getting along with others and have been told numerous times how easy I am to love.
But I’m an introvert. A huge, huge introvert. In the theatre and at anime cons, I find it’s incredibly easy to be surrounded by others and never have a moment of alone time, but anywhere else and I become a nervous mute. If I could have any wish, I would wish that I could spend my days in the safety of my home, only leaving to go shopping with my closest friend(s) , anime cons and the theatre.
Recently, I went to the mall with my brother and his girlfriend, and was promptly ditched to wander by myself. I wandered around by myself shaking with fear to the point of tears in the dressing rooms in Old Navy. I couldn’t handle it. I can’t deal with being somewhere surrounded by people I don’t know.
I’m not sure what it is about anime cons and the theatre. There, I’m so obnoxious and hyper, and willing to talk to anyone. At a restaurant, I even desperately try to avoid ordering for myself. It literally makes me want to throw up.
I know a lot of people deal with this problem, and I wish I had a solution. I’ve tried to conquer this anxiety my entire life. When I was a little kid, I would throw a huge fit when I was without my mother. She was the comfort blanket that removed this anxiety. Now, I have numerous “blankets,” but, most times, I’m alone.
That’s why I take online classes and probably why I’m so very good at communication via text, but terrible in person or on the phone.
I hope that I can get away from this anxiety one day, but I’m not sure how I ever will.
But, in the mean time, I’m incredibly content working in an environment with only one person, and usually alone, and spending the rest of my time either alone or at the theatre. 
Filed under: Beliefs
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Hannah is an 19-year-old Computer Technology major who has found that being single isn't as scary as it seems, and is happy living life with only a mother. With a brother (Ryan) that was discharged from the army, two crazy and altogether amazing best friends (Heather and Lauren)and days full of gaming and being blonde, life is far from subtle.Married to Justin Long.
Stuck in an elevator with Hatori Sohma.
I am the Tohru Honda on the WWW.
July 29th, 2010 at 8:07 am
I used to be kind of an introvert, too, and it was kind of strange, sitting at a table with so many people and not really knowing or wanting to say anything. People thought I was far too shy and they judged me based on that, >.<. Tough times, haha.